Friday, March 22, 2019

Movie Review: "Moonraker"


At the end of The Spy Who Loved Me, the end credits proudly proclaimed "James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only." Well, when a certain movie set in "a galaxy far, far away" exploded onto movie screens that very same year, producer Albert R. Broccoli decided to switch gears and fast-track the vaguely space-themed Moonraker instead.

I think that's why Bond snobs give the eleventh entry in the series more shit than it deserves. Somehow they've gotten it into their heads that the producers compromised the series in order to shoe-horn in a bunch of random Star Wars references. Well, nothing could be further than the truth and, in this reviewer's humble opinion, Moonraker is one of the most gleefully-entertaining entries in the series. Come at me, bro.  

Now, before I strap on the gloves, I have to make a few concessions. The following things admittedly run the gamut between lazy and idiotic:
  • The theme song is pretty m'eh.
  • The hover-gondola ride through the streets of Venice is patently ridiculous.
  • The resulting pigeon double-take should immediately be excised from every copy of the film.
  • The Jaws and Dolly romance doesn't really bother me...but did it hafta kick off with Tchaikovsky's Romeo & Juliet Overture? Yeesh!
  • The climactic mass jetpack laser fight in space definitely belongs in a different movie.
But, honestly, everything else is solid gold! I will endeavor to elaborate, but first, here's the obligatory plot summary:

In Moonraker, the titular space shuttle gets hijacked, so Bond (Roger Moore) wings off to California to meet the vehicle's designer, industrialist Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale). Naturally, Drax takes an instant dislike to our favorite super spy and tries to arrange for a few "accidents", but our hero is resolute. Eventually 007 discovers that Drax has drawn up plans to mass produce an unusual glass canister, made only in Venice.

Upon his arrival in Italy, James stumbles across a secret lab producing deadly chemicals, battles a persistent henchman named Chang (Toshiro Suga) and learns that Drax's entry into the evil genius science fair is being shipped off to Rio de Janeiro. In Brazil, 007 re-unites with astronaut and undercover CIA operative Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) and together they infiltrate the villain's operation. After an increasingly-thrilling series of action set pieces, Bond and Holly discover that Drax's villainy isn't just limited to terrestrial threats, he's looking to strike at the earth's population  from the cold reaches of space!

Not unlike Batman, Bond can go dark and gritty, like in Casino Royale, or he can go kinda campy, which is Moonraker. And, contrary to the assertions of stuffier fans, there's a place for both in the series. Roger Moore is, and will always be, my ideal Bond. He's at his wry best here, with one eyebrow permanently cocked and his tongue planted firmly in-cheek. Even as he's tangling with Jaws (Richard Kiel), trading barbs with Drax or putting the moves on a a bevy of hotties, he's inhumanly cool and unflappable throughout it all.

Speaking of, Lois Chiles is wonderful as Holly. She's smart, sassy and gets top marks in the field of ass-kickery. Like Barbara Bach in The Spy Who Loved Me, she very self-reliant but I think Chiles gets the duke when it comes to pure acting chops. On the villainy side of things, Michael Lonsdale is great as Drax. He's cold, calculating and understated, barely speaking above a whisper most of the time. You know things are getting serious when Drax starts to lose his shit towards the end.

Now I know some fans hate what the writers did with fan favorite Jaws here, but I'm glad they tried to do something different. For the record, Jaws scared the ever-lovin' crap outta me as a kid. I mean...what's more terrifying than a tall, lanky, relentlessly-indestructible Frankensteinian motherfucker who kills people by CHOMPING ON THEM WITH HIS METAL TEETH. But as The Spy Who Loved Me wears on, you kinda start to feel bad for the big galoot since he's just tryin' to do his job and keeps getting undone by bad luck. In light of where things were going, the arc he experiences in Moonraker just makes sense, and Kiel sells it to the hilt.

Notwithstanding the periodic dollops of cheddar, Moonraker has all the hallmarks of a classic Bond flick. James uses cool-ass gadgets, like a miniaturized camera, a wrist-mounted dart shooter and a weapon-stocked motorboat. Beyond the gondola scrap in Rio, there are some amazing practical action scenes, including a museum brawl which shatters more stunt glass than any other scene in cinema history. The locales are also jaw dropping and its particularly cool to see 70's-era Venice or Rio during Carnival perfectly preserved for all time in digital amber.

Another hallmark of these early Bond films are the amazing sets built by master designer Ken Adam. First up in Moonraker is Drax's sexy temple grotto, complete with waterfall, conspicuously silver rocks, lush ferns, a cat-walk bridge boasting a complete absence of safety features, and an anaconda-infested pool. Picture Hugh Hefner if he had a fetish for Mayan doomsday prophecies.
This is closely followed by the shuttle control room, which is an odd, angular chamber that likely  presaged the "ominous wall of television screens" trope.

Then there's the real pièce de résistance: Drax's space station. As Bond and Holly's shuttle cruises through space, the sun starts to peek out around the earth, revealing the top spire of the station.  Eventually this strange, asymmetrical, M.C. Escher-esque amalgam of pods and tunnels heaves into view. As a kid I was so fascinated by this interstellar human hamster maze that I tried to draw it over and over again.

And that's something else that bears mentioning: the miniatures and model work by Derek Meddings is absolutely top-notch. Even though Star Wars was held up as the high-water mark of model making and visual effects at the time, Meddings deserves considerable recognition as well. The space shuttle program was just starting to take off (no pun intended), and, for movie goers in 1979, the convincing sight of these Moonrakers lifting off and coasting through space was pretty thrilling.

Sure, the timing of the film might have been kinda mercenary and director Lewis Gilbert makes some ill-advised choices here and there, but overall, the movie is a blast. If you don't believe me, watch it back-to-back with the relatively-sober and kinda bland For Your Eyes Only and tell me which one is more fun to watch. 


Moonraker gets a tilt up towards that mysterious orbiting platform that just appeared on radar outta nowhere!

 





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